


christmas changes

by themrys



Series: At The Singh-Allen House [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Gen, Grief, Hurt & Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 05:04:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9056527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themrys/pseuds/themrys
Summary: Barry's afraid to face the first Christmas without his mom, til David reminds he why he shouldn't be.(David&Rob are Barry's foster parents AU!)





	

**Author's Note:**

> merry christmas if you celebrate! and if not happy holidays!!! i'd like to apologize for taking so long to finish w ch2 of IRSFA, I hope this helps make up for it! 
> 
> title from where are you christmas by faith hill.
> 
> not beta read, wrote this on my phone n am posting it from there too so hopefully nothing is too bad omg

Barry was wary of spending Christmas with the Singhs. He'd been living with them for a few months, their relationship hesitantly settled into Barry calling them _David_ and _Rob_ in the gentle way one would say _Dad_. He wasn't sure he'd ever feel comfortable enough to even think about calling them his dads, not when his biological one was still alive, still present in his life even if he's behind bars. They didn't push him, hadn't even suggested he call them any form of 'father' and Barry was grateful for it. It'd taken some budging to get Barry to stop calling David 'Captain' though and he still had a hard time reconciling the strict police captain with his accepting guardian. He was _better_ but not _okay_ , unsure if would be able to get through the holiday season without collapsing from grief.

Everything reminded him of his mom, the lights, the music, the smell of pine. His heart ached with the thought that he'd never celebrate any holiday with her ever again. She wasn't coming back, he couldn't bring her back. It hurt worse to know his dad would be sitting in a jail cell, his one living relative who could possibly make any of the pain go away.

December first found Barry moping in his rooms, thoughts of Nora looping around his brain. He rolled up in his covers and hid beneath the bed, a dark squished place for him to hide. He could pretend the rest of the world didn't exist from under there. He knew they were supposed to be going to pick out a tree today, Rob excitingly telling him of the tradition on Thanksgiving. At the start of December they'd go to a tree lot and search for the perfect tree, stopping for hot chocolate and cookies once they found it. Barry had did his best to seem interested, feeling like Rob could see right through his mask to how unethused the boy felt inside. Barry was well aware of the tradition, doubly aware of the fact that he was supposed to go with them to pick the tree this year, yet remained underneath the bed.

"Barry?" He heard David call from outside his door. When Barry didn't answer he tried to turn the handle, thinking maybe he was still asleep, only to find it locked. "Barry? What's up?"

Barry flinched in his cocoon, the words having become a code for asking 'are you okay?' without making Barry want to break down. He's come to hate those words, angry that everyone always asks if he's okay when he's clearly not.

"Nothing!" _I'm fine_ , Barry called back, his voice muffled from the bed and the blankets.

"Are you sure?" David asked, refraining from trying the doorknob again. They'd never force themselves into his room, wanting to make sure he had a space that was entirely under his control. "Can you let me in?"

There was silence from the other side of the door for a few minutes before the sound of shuffling blankets and someone crawling across the floor arose. The blankets were thrown, making a soft _whump_ , followed by Barry's soft footsteps towards the door. The door unlocked, revealing Barry's soft, melancholy face. David's heart melts at the sight, reaching out to gently ruffle Barry's hair.

"Not looking too good, sport," he remarks. Barry shrugs, pushing into the touch before catching himself and shifting out of it to lean against the door frame. "You wanna talk about it?"

Barry shakes his head, crossing his arms across his chest and clenching his tiny hands. He looks much younger than eleven when he scrunched in on himself, like a turtle hoping to hide as far back as possible in his shell.

"C'mere," he pulls Barry into a hug and leads him the short way to the steps. They take a seat, Barry sitting his elbows on his knees and still managing to unconsciously lean into David. It takes a moment but soon there are tears trailing down Barry's cheeks, soft hiccups emanating from his chest. David pulls him closer and Barry turns to press his chest into David's chest, the sobs louder now. "Shh, it's okay Barry," David soothes as he rubs up and down his kid's back.

"I-I.. don'twannacelebrateChristmas withouther!" The words come out in a rush, Barry pulling back in shame. He's been reluctant to grieve around them, relegating his bedroom and bathroom as safe places to break down, but once he starts his mouth keeps running, like a river bubbling over after a storm. "I don't wanna make you upset or-or m-mad, or make you ch-change your m-mind about... aboutkeepingme! But I c-can't... I-I d-don't... How can I do Christmas with... without my," his breath hitches something fierce here, cracking with tears and snot, "M-mom."

"Barry, Barry, look at me," David requests, waiting for the boy to look up at him with red eyes. His voice is full of conviction as he speaks next. "We would never change our minds about fostering you. Never. Nothing you could do would ever make us give you up. Alright?"

"A-alright."

"It's okay to miss your mom. You can talk to us about it whenever you need to. But Barry, you don't need to be afraid of celebrating Christmas because she's not here. You're not replacing her with us," Barry flinches, his hands crinkling his pants as David's words hit on his fears.

"B-but what if I forget all the th-things we used to do together.." Barry sniffles, "What if sh-she's mad I'm not celebrating like we used to?"

"She won't be mad, she'll want you to have fun and be happy." David squeezes him back into a hug. David's eyes close as Barry presses his face into his chest. When he opens them he catches sight of Rob standing at the end of the stairs, his eyes full of so much warmth and love for his little family that David's heart nearly bursts. "She'd want you to be a kid, to have a wonderful Christmas whether she's here or not."

"Can I get in on this hug with my boys?" Rob speaks up and Barry shakes his head 'yes' from his place on David's chest. His husband ascends the stairs to wrap his arms around both of them, encasing Barry with their affection. "Now, how about we go eat some pancakes and get ready to pick out a tree, hm? And you can tell us all about Christmas with your mom, sound good?"

"Okay," Barry says softly, turning to press into Rob. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Bear," Rob replies before Barry leaps out of their arms and heads for the kitchen, a tiny smirk on his face as he calls, "Last one there gets the burnt pancakes!"

David and Rob laugh, David pressing a kiss to his husband's face before taking off after the eleven year old.


End file.
